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Joke of the Day

"I just got the biggest idea for a joke! Then I realized it was my dick. No seriously check this one out: ""I dont want to sound like an asshole, but ppfdrtrrtrt *fartnoises*"""

Next Joke
 
"So I checked into a nihilist hotel, and asked for turndown service. The clerk at the reception looked at me wearily and responded: ""Turndown? What for?"""
"Why do Jewish women like circumsized penis' Because they're all 20% off"
"All of my friends call me SAT prep Because no one ever does me... :("
"I read the world's worst thesaurus today. Not only was it terrible, it was terrible."
"What are the first words Jared Fogle's girlfriend said to him? ""Would you like to buy some girl scout cookies, sir?"""
"Going to a wedding today: Me: Do I look ok boys? 6: You look fine. 9: You look wow. Clearly I have work to do with the little one."
"Pierce Brosnan and Daniel Craig are unbelievably close friends. It's almost like they share some kind of Bond."
"Why didn't Napoleon get his wish? Because he couldn't pull the wish Bonaparte."
"I used to pay out of pocket for Viagra... it was hard for a long time"