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Joke of the Day

"I masturbate with soap... Just thought I'd come clean."

"TIFU by punching out my brother Oops, wrong sib"

"I cuss around my kids so they understand proper useage, timing and inflection. Vocabulary is power."

"Alan Rickman has passed away. He was going through a bad spell."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cyril ! Cyril who ? Cyril thing - no imitations here !"

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because seven is a registered six offender."

"Do you like raisin bran? Well, it's a good thing you adopted him then, but don't be surprised if he turns out to be a cereal killer..."

"I just won the Polish Lottery..... $1.00 a year for a million years."

"What did the stressed-out casino worker say to their boss? I literally cannot deal."

"*flips a quarter into jukebox from across room, jukebox spits it back at me, it goes down my throat, ""wake me up before you go-go"" plays*"