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Joke of the Day

"My half-brothers had a Hungarian dad and an Eskimo dad. My dad was from Wales. Our dinner table was like the U.N...only with slapping."

Next Joke
 
"I fell out of a tree and landed on an antelope. I was impala'd"
"*speed dating* I'm a competitive eater! Date: Are you any good? [grabbing my suitcase, dumping 45 hotdogs on table] funny you should ask"
"What's the best part about showering with a 5 year-old? The water washes away her tears"
"Just got off the phone with my mom. She had a nice talk."
"I bought some shoes from my drug dealer... But I don't think they were laced because I've been tripping all day."
"Me: let's try to catch snowflakes on our tongues! Wife: but we're inside.?. Me: shhhh, just close your eyes."
"What does a flame smell like? Burnt nose hair."
"What do you get when you combine 99 lesbians and a politician? 100 people that don't do dick"
"What powerful reptile is found in the Sydney opera house ? The Lizard of Oz !"