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Joke of the Day

"My half-brothers had a Hungarian dad and an Eskimo dad. My dad was from Wales. Our dinner table was like the U.N...only with slapping."

"I forgot I had an ambien in my back pocket Now my ass is asleep"

"Did you see the guy at Walmart hiding from ugly people?"

"Best amputation jokes? Friend has bone cancer, may be getting an arm amputated. We have run ""I'd give my left arm"" and ""Single-handedly"" puns into the ground, and we need more amputation jokes."

"What caused ""The Black Death""? The police."

"I care more about the outcome of sporting events than any other aspect of human existence."

"I don't trust umbrellas. They're shady."

"What do you get when you cross dancing and an act of god? Deus Ex Macarena"

"I like big MUTTS & I cannot lie U other breeders can't deny When a dog walks in with a pretty mixed race & spots all on its face it gets PET"

"The worst thing about that guy who posts non-stop gym updates is that all that exercise is gonna make him live longer."