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Joke of the Day

"What does a flame smell like? Burnt nose hair."

"Why do parrots carry umbrellas? So they don't become polly-saturated!"

"*sips some coffee & interrupts break room conversation* ""Technically we're all under the weather today unless you're an astronaut in orbit"""

"When someone replies late... If NASA can find a way to send an image of Pluto using that Hubble Space Telescope from 4.67 billion miles then why can't you message me?"

"Did you hear about the kidnapping at the pre-school? He woke up."

"Just got back from a once in a lifetime holiday, never again!"

"I hate when I'm getting a back rub & he stops 3 mins in & says ""my thumbs hurt."" It's not like I ever say ""My jaw hurts."" I finish the job."

"How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho path."

"Why did the element Fluorine get a copyright strike? Because it was extremely reactive"

"When John Wayne died, he had 40 pounds of fecal matter in his intestines. It sounds like a lot of shit, but it's true."