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Joke of the Day

"Which came first? the chicken or the egg? Niether. the rooster did. sorry if this has been said before. i just thought of it one day."

"Terrifying to think that one puff of marijuana can transform your life into a carnival of lies & ultimately, murder."

"[meeting] Bill: we'll call it BILLOSOPHY Phil [pulling out briefcase and assembling gun]: Good idea! Steal my board idea now this? Not again"

"Who is Monica Lewinsky's favorite football player? Clinton-Dix"

"I was in the supermarket today and the cashier asked the foreign couple in front of me if they needed help packing their bags Fuck me, we only voted out yesterday give them a chance"

"In Soviet Russia, Crimea River."

"What's a hats favourite thing? Getting head"

"Why couldn't the pig pay his bill? He was a little shoat."

"What do dirty fish read? Prawno Magazines!"

"A new hospital opens for the first time, and the doctor is getting antsy... ""What are we waiting for?"" the doctor asks. ""Patients, Doctor,"" replied the nurse. ""Patients."""