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Joke of the Day

"Hi, my name is USA, and I am... addicted to starting wars in Muslim countries. This is my first meeting and I'm a little nervous."

"zombies break out in nyc we aint noticing for 4 days because the motto is ""MIND YA BUSINESS"""

"When I sing with my headphones in I think, ""Why don't I have a record deal?!""...Then I take them out and I know why."

"Why do dentists like potatoes? Because they are so filling."

"Had great idea for site for recent law grads called BarelyLegal .com. Turns out name was already taken. And their idea was much better."

"How do you tell a chemist from a non-chemist? Ask them to pronounce 'unionized.'"

"How much cash could the cash cab cache if the cash cab could cache cab?"

"What did the bean say to the other bean? How you been?"

"What is the best part about showering with a 14 year old girl? If you slick her hair back just right, she looks nine!"

"Why do Meth Heads like to do it doggy style? so they can both stare out the window."