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Joke of the Day

"What's your best limerick? There once was a fellow McSweeny Who spilled some gin on his weenie Just to be couth He added vermouth Then slipped his girlfriend a martini"

"[male bank teller gives my niece a sucker] Me: What do you say? Niece: My aunt's single, do you have money? Me: lol how embarrassing! Do u?"

"What kind of cereal do you find in a haunted house? Cinnamon Ghost Crunch"

"What did the athletic trainer say to the body builder who was allergic to protein powder? ""No whey."""

"I wanted to tell you that wherever I am, whatever happens, I'll always think of you, and the time we spent together, as my happiest time. I'd do it all over again, if I had the choice. No regrets."

"My dad died on 9/11... He was a terrible pilot."

"Did you hear about the baker's son? He was in-bred."

"I saw a crazy squirrel today.. He was fucking nuts."

"Cop: Whatever you say will be held against you. Me: TEDDYBEARS Cop: Aww."

"BLONDE BICYCLE Q: Why did the blonde run with the bike? A: It was going too fast for her to get on."