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Joke of the Day

"[male bank teller gives my niece a sucker] Me: What do you say? Niece: My aunt's single, do you have money? Me: lol how embarrassing! Do u?"

"Did you hear about the 2 guys that stole a calendar? They each got 6 months."

"""Yoda, are we supposed to be here?"" ""Off course we are."""

"I really admire people who can joke about themselves so I made up this joke....It starts ""I have Alzheimer's ..."

"What's the big deal with the Dog Whisperer? My dog whispers all the time! ""Kill for me,"" he rasps."

"If you don't have a bucket list, then put ""make bucket list"" on your ""To Do"" list. nnYou don't have a To Do list?nnnnJesus, what ARE you?"

"Rhonda is my type of woman... She finishes before I do!"

"Sometimes passing by a nursing home is the only reminder I need to go buy my kids whatever they want."

"I always keep two pennies in my pocket. Just in case I have to give someone my two cents."

"I was in the confessional booth today and I asked the priest if he thought it might be a good idea to stop masturbating. He said ""Sure, if it bothers you, I'll stop."""