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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why are all blacks fast? A: The slow ones are in jail."

"Something you may have in your house right now could be killing your children. We'll tell you about it in 2 days. - Local News"

"I did it again, I put way too much hairspray on my back hair, now I can't sleep."

"My neighbor is constantly whining about her small breasts. I think she's being a little too melondramatic"

"*sits son down for the talk* You ready? ""Yeah"" Ok. When a man and a woman love each other- *pulls out Pokeball* -they throw this at a baby"

"What do you call a person of Irish and Asian descent? Rice Paddy. - Edit: Credit goes to my nickname from some clever fucker classmate when I was a kid."

"I can't get into Breaking Bad because I have trouble remembering all the little facts. For example: the name of Walter's boss at the car wash. I just need to stop getting Bogdan in the details."

"what's your pitch? ""so this guy steals from the rich..."" ok ""and gives to the poor"" nice. what's his name? ""Robin..."" haha I love it ""Hood"" wait"

"maybe she's born with it, maybe it's compulsive engagement in pleasurable habits despite their negative consequences"

"Reporter: Tell me about him Neighbor: He was so nice, sweet, friendly, funny R: Do you think he killed those people? N: Oh, yeah absolutely."