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Joke of the Day

"what's your pitch? ""so this guy steals from the rich..."" ok ""and gives to the poor"" nice. what's his name? ""Robin..."" haha I love it ""Hood"" wait"

"So, my friend who hasn't slept in 24 hours just blurted this out... Confucius say, don't leave the chronic masturbator behind. Horny man may come in handy!"

"How do you know a introvert likes you... He stares at your shoes instead of his."

"Me: ""This new flavour of Pringles is horrible."" Wife: ""You're eating a tube of tennis balls."""

"Why are Ice Cream Truck music so loud ? NSFW To muffle the sound of the captive kids that are held captive"

"Who isn't white or black but shows you no color? A Rod"

"Social networking has become a club. Twitter is the dance floor. Instagram is the bar and Facebook is the people crying in the bathroom."

"Joke i heard between 2 airport janitors. A:""where are you going?"" B:""to the toilet, where else can one go in an airport?"" --- I would like to add that my emotional response was mixed."

"I like my women how I like my showers... Cold, crying and alone."

"If you want someone to like you never text first. If they text you then don't text back. Never, ever talk. It's the only way to make it work"