196532

Joke of the Day

"maybe she's born with it, maybe it's compulsive engagement in pleasurable habits despite their negative consequences"

"If you go to jail for tax evasion, you are living off taxes for not paying taxes."

"Just did my holiday shopping. I've got so many shorts now; I'm swimming in them!"

"IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got."

"(guy glaring at me because he wants to use the stationary bike) *adds 72 hours to cardio workout*"

"So cute how this taxi driver is taking an unnecessarily long route and driving slowly so he gets to spend more time with me."

"- Are you even listening to me? - Of course I am - Ok, what did I just ask you? - If I'm listening to you"

"What pants do ghosts wear? BOO jeans."

"Me: *doing magic trick* Is THIS your card? Guy: They're all my cards, give me my wallet back."

"I like my women like I like my coffee... [Fill in the blank]"