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Joke of the Day

"Something you may have in your house right now could be killing your children. We'll tell you about it in 2 days. - Local News"

"Where do the burgers go on New Year's Eve? To a meat ball!"

"Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully? A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully."

"Chuck Norris is the only person who can simultaneously hold and fire FIVE Uzis: One in each hand, one in each foot -- and the 5th one he roundhouse-kicks into the air, so that it sprays bullets."

"Too many men hate it when I put both of my hands on their shoulder and ask if everything is alright take this guy at the urinal for example"

"Me: You're supposed to be taking a nap 4-year-old: I am Me: Then why are you standing here? 4-year-old: Me: 4-year-old: This is a dream"

"While other countries are doubling down on education, we're using chicken breasts as sandwich bread."

"Camera Joke Nikon"

"How do you know your girlfriend is too young for you? You have to make airplane noises to put your dick in her mouth"

"My mom said she's going to dig a hole in the garden and fill it full of water.... ....she means well"