66137

Joke of the Day

"Why is that Mac owners always say their computers never get viruses... ...when it is clear that being a pretentious douche is a clear example of a virus that is exclusive to Mac ownership?"

"Knock knock Who's...(loud crash as a battering ram demolishes the front door)...there? We're the Ferguson Police Department. We ask the questions."

"I made this. When you think about it, it is kind of silly that honey contains B vitamins."

"What do you get if you mix up together an agnostic, a dyslexic and an insomniac? A guy who is up all night wondering if there is a dog."

"A veteran's son asks him ""Dad, did you get shot in the army?"" The dad replies, ""Nope! But I got shot in the leggy."""

"Knock knock. Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollin. They hatin. Patrollin and tryna catch me ridin dirty."

"Fear is not the same is respect. For instance I fear bears but integrity wise they are huge pieces of shit"

"Why do asians have such squinty eyes? Because atomic bombs are pretty bright."

"How do you make a good movie better add Adam Sandler"

"What does a Syrian refugee and an American abortion have in common? White people didn't allow them to come into the U.S."