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Joke of the Day

"Whom the gods would destroy, they first give the WORST leg cramp and you can't even get up fast because the cat is on you."

"Well, it's easy to tell I'm married. It's Friday night and I'm at home updating my Facebook status..."

"*hands you baby* Here's your Christmas present I got it at the mall but it didn't come with a gift receipt & people may be looking for it."

"I'd just like to thank my English teacher for defining the word Many' for me. It means a lot."

"What's the difference between a tiger and a lion ? A tiger has the mane part missing !"

"""Son, I wanted to let you know you were adopted,"" said my dad. ""Are you kidding? Really?!"" I shouted. ""Yup, get ready,"" he said. ""They'll be picking you up in about an hour."""

"*adds lol to the end of a message to sound less mean*"

"Why should you never bring your Pokemon cards into the washroom with you? They might Pikachu."

"Why do vegans hate themselves? They are animal products."

"Why did Hitler hate juice? Cause it was too hasidic. ^^^I'll ^^^be ^^^here ^^^all ^^^week"