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Joke of the Day

"the worst part of the robot uprising will be the constant software updates"

"People say drinking milk makes you stronger. I drunk 5 glasses of milk and tried to move a wall. It didn't work. Then, I drank 5 glasses of vodka and the wall moved alone!!"

"Give a man a cow, and he eats for a day. Teach a man to cow, and you've probably invented some crazy new dance called the cow'."

"What hangs at a man's thigh, and wants to poke the hole it's often poked before? A key."

"If she eats pizza with a fork, she isn't going to like being bent over the dining room table."

"If a person were to give a speech about Mozart, where would they be most likely to do it? On the Dias On the Dias Oh Oh Oh, on the dais."

"Drink this wine, it's the blood of Christ.Eat this bread, it's the body of Christ.Jesus pulls out hotdog, ""Now hear me out"""

"Everyone else gauges how productive their week is by how little time they had for Twitter too, right?"

"What's the best joke you ever heard? For me, it's gotta be Emo Phillips' Baptist joke. Although to tell it you've gotta get his execution down."

"""Are you okay?"" Me anytime I meet someone named Annie."