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Joke of the Day

"I am kinda scared of 2015 because 2+0+1+5=8. The exact number of nipples Hitler would have if he had 6 more nipples."

"Why would peter pan make a terrible pilot Because he'd neverland."

"[At microphone] *clears throat* ""Salsa. Ballet. Conga. Waltz. Jitterbug. Tap."" *crowd cheers* ""Thanks for attending my dance recital."""

"So Chad Kroeger was just diagnosed with a vocal cyst... I guess that's what the doctor can call nickleback."

"What did the Boston Marathon bombers do that Hitler couldn't? successfully end a race."

"My wife claims watching me do karate ""isn't foreplay."" Why am I even alive."

"Why did tigger look in the toilet... He was looking for Pooh"

"Did you guys hear about the joke about the high wall? It's so funny, I'm still trying to get over it."

"Some Ho decided to hit me in the face yesterday... Fucking garden tools."

"Chipotle is releasing a new ""Ravens"" burrito. It comes with everything but rice."