129339

Joke of the Day

"[At microphone] *clears throat* ""Salsa. Ballet. Conga. Waltz. Jitterbug. Tap."" *crowd cheers* ""Thanks for attending my dance recital."""

"I just whispered ""Come at me, bro"" to a bug and it ran towards me, so now I'm in my car driving away from my old life."

"If you cut off a mommy blogger's head she can continue mommy blogging for up to three full minutes."

"What's the difference between a snow-man and a snow-woman Snowballs"

"Two kids talking. One asks 'do you also pray before each meal'? The other responds : no, my mom knows how to cook."

"Where can you buy freshly cut meats and cheeses while a British woman sings to you Adele-i"

"The Horses decided to form a Senate to govern themselves... But they could never get anything done. ""All in favor, say Yay. All opposed, say neigh."""

"Chef's favorite personal dish? Stroganoff"

"A friend and I just decided that in 10 years if we aren't married we will tell each other what's honestly wrong about ourselves."

"Life tip: If you're curious if you've gotten fat, have a kid draw your picture."