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Joke of the Day

"I walked into the gym and see a bunch of ladies working out I ask the guy who is running the gym, ""Sir, what machine should I use to impress the ladies?"" He smiles says ""Try the ATM in the lobby""."

"The bartender says ""Sorry, we don't serve time travelers here."" A time traveler walks into a bar."

"It's not the amount of followers young GRASSHOPPER. It's the quality of followers."

"*runs in place* *cracks knuckles* *stretches neck* *takes a deep breath* *heads toward buffet*"

"An 8 year old and his uncle walk deep into the woods... The 8 year old turns to his uncle and says ""I'm scared."" The uncle responds "" you think your scared? I have to walk out of here alone!"""

"What do you call 13 dwarves and a hobbit inside a mountain? A *smaugasbord*."

"What's the difference between a republican and a democrat? How much damage can their Weiner make..."

"Italy changes law to make all markets give unsold food to super needy keep it going"

"Monkey: ""We're not so different"" Me: ""Did that monkey just talk to me"" Monkey: ""Monkey noise"" Me: ""Did it just say 'monkey noise'?"""

"Why did the twinkie go to the dentist? He lost his filling!"