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Joke of the Day

"An 8 year old and his uncle walk deep into the woods... The 8 year old turns to his uncle and says ""I'm scared."" The uncle responds "" you think your scared? I have to walk out of here alone!"""

"Wife: you're drunk Me: no'm not Wife: I'M JUST A POOR BOY NOBODY LOVES ME Me: HE JURSTA PRO BROY FUMMA FLOOR FLAMLEE Wife: Me: ok lil bit"

"Why did the referees stop the leper hockey game? There was a face-off in the corner."

"*Walks into school* Simon says give me your Pokemon cards Ok now close your eyes *Walks out* Kids are so dumb I didn't even say Simon says"

"Heard about the public speaker with the rodent up his butt? He had to cancel a speech because he was gerbily constipated."

"I'll grow my beard out just so I can knock on a strangers door & whisper, ""I'm here to pick your kid up for prom. Either one. I don't care."""

"What did the programmer call his ship? Sea++"

"My ex-girlfriend has a tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh. and if you hold your ear against it, you can smell the sea."

"What did the constipated mathematician do? He sat down and worked it out with a pencil."

"please stop adding flintstone chewable vitamin commercials to the episode list. they are not real flintstone episodes."