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Joke of the Day

"I worry about people who write ""taken"" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them? Why aren't we helping to find them?"

"Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she. Do you know what her dogs name was? (insert Wookie noise) Do you know why her dog ran away? You would to if your name was (insert Wookie noise)."

"What is white and disturbes your dinner? An avalanche."

"A little girl says to her mother, ""Mommy, I want to be a feminist when i grow up"" Her mother replies, ""Well pick one, Honey. You can't do both."""

"[funeral] Her: why is my dead grandfather wearing a diamond ring? *sliding it off his finger* Me: *gets down on one knee* because babe..."

"Dad Joke - Did the melon get married without permission? No, it Cantelope."

"Referring to people as individuals isn't accurate... I can divide them."

"Remember people, good manners is what separates us from the French."

"Tape is so anti social It likes to stick to itself."

"What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef Strokin' Off"