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Joke of the Day

"I worry about people who write ""taken"" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them? Why aren't we helping to find them?"

"Mini-horses are like mini-donuts, you can't just eat one"

"I always read r/creepy when i poop It scares the shit outa me..."

"Similes are like as holes."

"Two muffins are sitting in an oven... One turns to the other and says ""It's getting pretty hot in here isn't it? "" The other muffin says ""Holy shit! A talking muffin! """

"My wife has the body of a woman half her age. I suppose I should call the police."

"Yo mama so short she does backflips under the bed."

"Niagara Falls A guide was showing Niagara-Falls to a man from Texas and said; I'll bet you don't have anything like this in Texas. The Texan said; nope, but in Texas we have plumbers who can fix it."

"I call my penis ""Pizza"" Because when you get it it is firm, gooey, and delicious. But if you leave it out to long it gets hard and crusty"

"I'm holding a latte and a scone while I break into this Audi so people think it's mine and I've locked my keys in it."