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Joke of the Day
"Three Mexicans walk in to a bar... You'd think Juan would've seen it."
Next Joke
"What's easier to pick up the heavier it is? A girl."
"Should I have a baby after 35? No 35 children is enough."
"When someone tells me, ""I think of you as family,"" I assume I'm about to be yelled at for something that happened 10 years ago."
"The doctor told Harry Potter to drink 2L of Water a Day, but Harry didn't listen. Harry Potter and the Kidney Stone."
"Why was the tree in prison? Because it broke every branch of the law."
"I just spent 15 minutes searching for my phone in my room, using my phone as a flashlight..."
"I'm thinking of re-releasing my old tweets in 3D."
"Q: What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe? A: Roberto."
"Been playing hide n' seek with my niece and nephew for the last three hours. I guess I should get off twitter and go and look for them now."