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Joke of the Day

"Telling someone w/ depression things like 'Cheer up','Get over it','It's a state of mind', is like telling a blind person 'Just look harder'"

"Why are blondes terrible at telling jokes, timing."

"In the midst of all this negativity and hate please take comfort in remembering that I have a 5 star uber passenger rating"

"Why did the calendar give up on life? Because he felt his days were numbered."

"ComedyTime: I think I'm a Moth http://www.comedytime.tv/view_video.php?viewkey=5bd5cf89ce39d9690346"

"Is this joke funny? I just made it up! A son walks up to his dad and says...are you a gay buffalo? And the dad looks at him and says, no, I'm bison."

"WIFE: what's the name of that girl you work with? ME: which girl? WIFE: the pretty one ME: I feel like this is a trap"

"Team work is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else."

"If you teach a Pokemon substitute.. Does that mean you're a substitute teacher?"

"I tried donating to the itty-bitty titty committee... But they don't really need the support"