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Joke of the Day

"""why do women always take sooo long to put their makeup on?"" because makeup is war paint for Being In Public, clearly"

"An avocado-wife is giving her husband the silent treatment Husband: ""I said you were the good kind of fat!"""

"What kind of bees produce milk? Boo-bees !"

"What do you call a woman who is paralyzed from the waist down? Married."

"Girl you remind me of a... (insert insult here)"

"Want to hear two short jokes and a long joke? Joke. Joke. Jooooooooooke."

"Behind every HD picture of a girl, there is a friendzoned DSLR photographer boy :P"

"There's so much nudity on TV these days, it makes me so angry. I just sit there, shaking my fist."

"Research shows that smoking pot does not make you paranoid. But I highly doubt it."

"I just cross-bred a crocodile and a homing pigeon. I expect that'll come back to bite me."