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Joke of the Day
"Lawrence starts cooking Lawrence checks Twitter Lawrence smells smoke Lawrence Fishburne"
Next Joke
"Sorry I lied about knowing how to play the piano. What's that? Yes, I agree it made the funeral uncomfortable."
"""Choas Theory""-themed restaurant: Eating Disorder"
"Quotes to calm an angry woman: 1. Stress makes you fat. 2. My ex never acted like that. 3. I love you, even if you're just like your mom."
"Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with."
"What is love? Baby don't hurt me."
"I relate more to ""Rice, rice, baby"" - because Asian"
"What did the pirate say when he turned 80 Aye Matey!"
"Well son, your mom was the prettiest lady at that entire Gathering of the Juggalos, and I would've traded THREE wallet chains to be with her"
"Movie Idea: Michael Cera falls down a spiral staircase then pets a cat."