19887

Joke of the Day

"Why does Manny Pacquiao hate Spring so much? Because of May weather."

"As long as the stupid phrase ""interracial relationship"" exists, I'm going to refer to same race ones as a ""color-coordinated relationship."""

"And the lord said unto John ""Come forth and receive eternal life"" But John came fifth and received a toaster."

"What should you say when an old lady calls you a ""bastard sonofabitch""? ""I love you too, mom."""

"Your mom can deduct mouthwash and contraceptives as business expenses on her tax return. Because she's a ho."

"Is it considered sexual assault to masturbate while cyber bullying? If so, I owe a pretty heartfelt apology to some members of PlaystationNetwork."

"What's a pedophile's favorite musical score? The Magic Flute in A Minor"

"Mother Teresa lived to 87. Do you know how much sex she had in all those years? Nun."

"I wish Candy Canes were shaped less awkward and tasted more like cocaine."

"I'm like the mafia to my son. He only contacts me when he wants money or protection."