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Joke of the Day

"""The ancients would grind the nougat plant with stones, adding cacao nibs as they worked."" Satisfied, Paleo Dad accepts the 3 Musketeers."

"Did you know you are supposed to pull anal beads out slowly? I didn't... I started the wife up like a f*cking chainsaw."

"Did anyone ever find out who let the dogs out?"

"What did Captain Cook say to his men before they got on the ship? Let's get on the ship, men!"

"Sorry I commented ""yikes"" on that pic of your baby you posted on facebook."

"it's so hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager"

"An accident... It's an accident waiting to happen when your country has an obesity epidemic... And a skinny jeans fad at the same time."

"Dogs are ""practice babies"" and cats are ""practice ex-girlfriends you still have to share an apartment with."""

"What Do You Call A Bad Mexican Restaurant? Shitpotle"

"A guy was honking at a car ahead of him to speed up at 6AM so I followed him bc his job must be amazing if he's that excited to get to work."