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Joke of the Day

"Dogs are ""practice babies"" and cats are ""practice ex-girlfriends you still have to share an apartment with."""

"If two gangsta vegetarians are arguing... Is it still considered beef?"

"I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner... ...all it was doing was gathering dust."

"How did the sailor deal with the death of his friend? He sent out a message in remorse code."

"u kno how we have burger king do u think in italy they have spaghetti king"

"A feminist asked me how I view lesbians In HD was apparently not the correct answer."

"What would the Reddit political party be called? The know-kn0thing party."

"Why do you never see Mexicans with acne? They keep slipping off."

"[text] ""Just saw this! I'd love to go to dinner!"" Him: That was 3 years ago, I have a wife & kid now. ""Bring 'em! Sister Wives is my jam!"""

"I just deleted the same tweet twice for two different typos and now I can't tweet it again because it's already been stolen"