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Joke of the Day

"Dogs are ""practice babies"" and cats are ""practice ex-girlfriends you still have to share an apartment with."""

"Did you hear about the golf match between the black golfer and white golfer from South Africa? Birdie on the last hole would have won the match for the black golfer, but a par tied."

"It's my wife birthday coming up and she keeps going on about how bad I am at buying presents. Well this year she's in for a rude awakening. I'm buying her a Tourettes alarm clock."

"Funniest Joke Ever... What do you call a crazy introvert?..............A walnut. *crickets* Thank you, thank you."

"Why do Italians wear gold necklaces? So they know where to stop shaving"

"BEARD PROGRESSION: 1. Clean shaven babyface. 2. Cool stubble. 3. Rugged. 4. Homeless man. 5. Psycho killer. 6. Religious nutjob. 7. Wizard."

"No thanks, flu shot. I look forward to three days off from work and returning looking like I was on a diet for six weeks."

"House is a good doctor. He's also got a good heart. He should let his friends see the real him. But he's scared."

"Batman (1989): An orphan fights a clown"

"What's so unfunny that it's funny? An anti-joke."