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Joke of the Day

"An accident... It's an accident waiting to happen when your country has an obesity epidemic... And a skinny jeans fad at the same time."

"What's green and eats nuts... Syphilis."

"My girlfriend said I have a pretty penis... I replied, ""I guess you could say its the belle of the balls"" hopefully you guys enjoy this joke more than she did."

"Thank you student loans for helping me get through college I don't think I can ever repay you."

"If I had a million dollars for every time I lost money... I'd have $43."

"How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho path."

"ME: did it hurt GIRL AT BAR: did wat hurt ME: when ur hopes of having a nice uninterupted night out got crushed bc i started talking to u"

"What does a chef call an undercover cop? Pig in a blanket."

"She told me my analogies didn't make any sense. It seriously made me feel like a biscuit in an elevator."

"My wife has just walked out the door with the kids for good because of my addiction to horse racing. In fact, I can see them now they're all at the gate and they're off!"