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Joke of the Day

"A kid has cancer Then he gets AIDS from his mom"

"I accidently swallowed some scrabble tiles My next dump could spell disaster"

"The fantasy part of fantasy football is that 10 wives would all let their husbands out on the same night for the draft."

"I think my 2 year old wants to move to Iowa. She points to everything and says ""Des Moines."""

"What's Tinkerbell's favorite drink during ""that time of the month?"" A Bloody Fairy. Sorry everybody."

"I feel bad for people who work at German supermarkets. They have to deal with Deutsch bags all day."

"If you ask someone out and they say no, try it again in a few minutes wearing sunglasses and smoking a cigarette. #cool"

"I'm in Detroit with $80 in my wallet. Trying to decide if I should treat myself to a nice dinner or buy a house."

"My wife has been missing for two days now. Police have told me to expect the worst. So I went to the charity shop to buy her clothes back."

"DOC: We think you may have a phobia of marriage. Do you know what the symptoms are? ME: Can't say I do DOC: That's one of the symptoms, yes."