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Joke of the Day

"The fantasy part of fantasy football is that 10 wives would all let their husbands out on the same night for the draft."

"Major Tom: This is Major Tom to Ground Control I'm stepping through the door & I'm floating in a most peculiar way GC: New phone. Who dis?"

"I skipped 9 puns and killed the last one... That's a pun in ten dead."

"Guy comes to my door and asks if I want to be a Jehovah's Witness I said, ""Hey man I didn't even see the accident"""

"What would a woodchuck do if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Go chuck itself of course."

"Where do ninjas come from? Out of nowhere!"

"The government closed my non-profit clean needle exchange because we were just wiping 'em off with an old rag."

"What do you call a near-empty bag of cereal? Luckily Charms"

"What is the one thing you don't give to a Jewish kindergartner? A gold star."

"If you read a text in front of the mirror three times, I will appear and help you analyze it."