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Joke of the Day

"If you ask someone out and they say no, try it again in a few minutes wearing sunglasses and smoking a cigarette. #cool"

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"Why are Mexicans called spics? Because they spic spanish."
"If girls is boys If girls were boys for a day,The first thing he did was supposed to be:Pee on a tree"
"How did the hillbilly find his sister in the woods? Attractive."
"Who do zombie cowboys fight? Deadskins."
"deleted scenes are rarely worth the time but on Honey I Shrunk the Kids check out one where the dad thinks he's alone and starts jerking it"
"my grandfather destroyed the economy w/ the overproduction of coins he pulled from behind my ears. the market simply could not deal"
"What do you get when you put 50 politicians and 50 lesbians in a room together? 100 cunts that don't do dick."
"So someone called me a dick... So it got me thinking, yeah it checks out; roommates are a couple of nuts, neighbor's an asshole, and my friend is kind of a cunt."
"Why is it easier to shit on fat people? More surface area"