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Joke of the Day

"Impotence: Nature's way of saying, ""No hard feelings"""

"I just want a girl that's nice and sweet that doesn't require a lot of money and I can dunk them in milk wait, a cookie, I want a cookie"

"What do zombie college students eat? Raw-men"

"Whenever I order room service and the person tells me how long until the food arrives, I whisper, ""If I'm alive by then,"" and hang up."

"The element of surprise is the best element on the periodic table Because you don't even know it's there."

"What do you call a snail in the Navy? A Snailor"

"How many mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Only juan."

"Weekend settings activated, please don't call unless if its alcohol, food, fun, alcohol, fun and food again. All problems deferred to Monday..."

"Got carded for a box of Nicorette. I guess they don't want you to quit using tobacco until you're over 18."

"Sorry I called you stupid. It was insensitive and heartless of me. I just assumed that you knew."