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Joke of the Day

"I just want a girl that's nice and sweet that doesn't require a lot of money and I can dunk them in milk wait, a cookie, I want a cookie"

"Twitter is like a very demented game of The Sims. Everyday I check to see how my people are doing and make sure they're still alive."

"I think I'm indecisive... but I'm not really sure."

"Why do sharks like salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze"

"I love watching hardpore corn It's like watching the birth of an amazing thing we all love- Popcorn! [No Relation](http://www.hardporecorn.com/)"

"I won every fight in 1st grade. Not because I was tough, because I was 13."

"The blue man lives in the blue house, the yellow man lives in the yellow house, the purple man lives in the purple house. Who lives in the White House? The orange man."

"If at first you don't succeed, fuck it. What's on TV?"

"Someone in America gets raped once every 56 seconds... ...and I feel just awful for her."

"What do Pink Floyd & Dale Earnhart have in common? Their last big hit was the wall."