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Joke of the Day

"Best thing about living in NY is you can order anything, anytime, and 30 minutes later it shows up. You see here? This here is an orangutan."

"Leaving a warm bed on a cold morning is my personal hell."

"What's black and hanging from a tree in my backyard right now? A black berry."

"I heard a chemistry joke the other day... I heard a chemistry joke the other day, it was sodium funny I slapped my neon that one."

"The Pope is resigning. He will soon be known as Ex-Benedict."

"Poodles are just angry clouds with legs."

"Me: Janet's boyfriend reminds me of Gandhi Wife: He looks nothing like him Janet's bf: [tapping on car window] Don't forget about Gandhi"

"I cringe when teens brag about taking girls to pound town because adopting a puppy together is a huge responsibility."

"A joke about procrastination. Eh, I'll write it later."

"Teacher to Student: Why are you late? Student: Because of the sign on the road. Teacher: What type of sign? Student: The sign that says, ""School Ahead, Go Slow."""