201089

Joke of the Day

"Me: Janet's boyfriend reminds me of Gandhi Wife: He looks nothing like him Janet's bf: [tapping on car window] Don't forget about Gandhi"

"I'll go to extreme lengths to get the last bit of toothpaste from the tube but I'll also watch 2 hrs of Nick Jr if I can't reach the remote."

"At the mattress store I set all the sleep numbers to 69, because I'm hilarious and original and sexy."

"Nephews joke... What do you call a witch that goes to the beach? Sandwich(sandwitch) -my nephew"

"I tried to make a joke about coins But it didn't make any cents"

"Easter tip: Tell your kids you hid an egg with $50 in it in the backyard but you don't remember where. Enjoy a quiet day indoors."

"Anyone who claims on the internet that the President is a Communist, should be forced to spend a year in 1934 Siberia."

"Q: What's brown and in a baby's diaper? A: Michael Jackson's hand !!"

"Why do so many kids die in high school massacres? Because they aren't allowed to run in the corridors"

"My friend's bakery burned down last night. I think his business is toast."