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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a group of pigs? A precinct."

"Why can't a W-boson get a girlfriend? He can't even last a femtosecond!"

"Life tip: If you're curious if you've gotten fat, have a kid draw your picture."

"After working for 24 hours straight... I called it a day."

"HR: You can't urinate outside. Me: Then how will we keep the jellyfish away? HR: Can you take a drug test? Me: Nope, I'm all out of urine"

"Lady, your baby needs to chill. This is MY Binky. I found it fair and square after ""someone"" threw it on the ground. Finders keepers."

"Forgive me for this one A German soldier who loves animals can't decide what to do after WWII. His friend says, Otto, it's easy to figure out. You're a Veteran Aryan."

"Hipsters I had the joy of meeting a couple of hipsters today, and they yelled at me for making fun of them. Apparently the politically correct term is ""conjoined twins""."

"I fostered a kid last night Not bad a can right in the back of the head form 20 yards"

"I got arrested for indecent exposure. They've sent me to the Small Claims Court."