207584

Joke of the Day

"Life tip: If you're curious if you've gotten fat, have a kid draw your picture."

"Did you hear about the witch who did a four year course in ugliness? She finished it in two."

"Fake is the new trend and some of my friends seem to be in style!"

"""The top of my toliet seat is uncomfortable to sit on. I want it to feel like my living room floor"" - inventor of carpet toliet seat covers"

"CAPT. AMERICA: Merry Christmas, Hulk! Happy Hanukkah, The Thing! Er... what religion are you, Thor? THOR: Do you understand I'm an actual god"

"What do straight horses eat? hay"

"Why did the integer drown? Because it can't float."

"*strips off clothes, stands on desolate highway holding sign saying ""Last Naked Guy For 75 Miles"""

"What do you call a black man flying an airplane? Pilot."

"Doc, for all the good that suppository did me... I could have shoved it up my ass!"