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Joke of the Day
"After working for 24 hours straight... I called it a day."
Next Joke
"[in heaven after crucifixion] jesus: ""they were horrible dad, im pleased im not going back there"" god: [rubbing his neck] ""see the thing is"""
"I'm 49 and my girlfriend is 5 months pregnant! What do you guys think we should do?"
"Hark work never killed anybody But why take the risk."
"Like my Uncle used to say, the best part of Twenty one year olds... ...is there's twenty of them."
"What's the difference between Tim Howard and Jesus? Jesus had 11 guys he could depend on."
"Jack LaLanne died two years ago and he's still in better shape than I am."
"Heartbeats away from president When you're a Vice President people say you're a heartbeat away from president. But really, it's a failed heartbeat away from president"
"Two Snowmen are standing in a field. One snowman turns to the other snowman and says, ""Does it smell like carrots to you?"""
"I'm having a hard time trying to decide on which pencil to use for my English literature exam. 2B or not 2B - that is the question."