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Joke of the Day

"""If you could be anyone, living or dead, who..."" Me - ""dead"""

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"Why's Guantanamo Bay full of actors? Because they all shot pilots."
"What do you say to a handicapped dog? ""Stay"""
"*I'm worried about tomorrow* Tomorrow: I'm fine, stop worrying."
"The Chuck Norris' action figure has slept with more women than most men."
"Some say that the Mongols created the first iteration of the Ideal Gas Law. After all, they were pneumatic experts."
"Ever since I read an article about the danger of smoking I stopped reading."
"What's the dieeference between /r/Showerthoughts and /r/jokes?"
"My girlfriend broke up with me over my obsession with linkin park. But in the end it doesn't even matter."
"Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired"