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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a Russian, homophobic, golfer? Vladimir Putting"
Next Joke
"[on first date] Let me get that for you. *holds door open* ""May I help you, sir?"" Yes, my lady would like your finest soft taco supreme..."
"What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? They're married."
"Record ice and precipitation in the northeast and I'm paranoid that the government is watching me Because I am snowed in."
"<at a baptism> *leans over* Me:What's the WiFi password? Him:Jesus Christ, dude! Me:That makes sense....is it case sensitive?"
"A dung beetle walks into a bar.... The bartender asks,""What's with the round faeces?"""
"Your blood pressure looks normal, I'll fix that. - Children, every five minutes."
"Alpha male An alpha male walks into a pharmacy and asks for Beta blockers."
"If someone writes ""you are"" I immediately assume that they don't understand the difference between you're/your and are playing it safe."
"I bet at least ONE of Leonardo DiCaprio's friends has called him Leotard. Probably Mark Wahlberg..."