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Joke of the Day

"<at a baptism> *leans over* Me:What's the WiFi password? Him:Jesus Christ, dude! Me:That makes sense....is it case sensitive?"

"Why was the Instagram star so bad at making coffee? Because she used #nofilter"

"I wonder which lie came first: ""Oops, wrong hole!"" or ""That's never happened before!""?"

"If we could master the look dogs have when we're eating in front of them, we'd be able to have sex with any woman at will."

"Did you hear about the Pharaoh getting kicked out of the Grammy's? I guess that's what happens when you toot on Common."

"Why did truffle get invited to the party? Cos he was a fun-guy"

"Submit your best! (Puns) What are your best one or two liner PUNS?"

"What's the difference between a bus stop filled with old people and a crab with boobs? One's a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean!"

"I have a bumper sticker that says COP KISSER explicitly to make it awkward when a police officer asks if I know why they pulled me over."

"My Dream is to Become the World's Best Procrastinator... But I'll start chasing my dreams another day, I don't feel like it now."