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Joke of the Day
"[diary, day 3642 on deserted island] How can I still be fat?"
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"One time we ran out of soap- -so we had to use hand sanitizer!!!"
"I miss being a kid and playing cowboys and Indians. Now whenever I chase people around with a tomahawk I get arrested."
"4 stages of life 1. You believe in Santa 2. You don t believe in Santa 3. You are Santa 4. You look like Santa"
"I love weighing myself after having a dump. It makes a shit load of difference."
"The less you know, the more you think you do."
"Call me crazy, but the last person who did is still in a full body cast, so it's up to you."
"Yo mama so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!"
"A clean house is a sign of a misspent life."
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