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Joke of the Day

"Retailers have pulled all the Darth Vader toys from their shelves... Apparently they are a choking hazard."

"Do you think Gillette employees ever call in Schick to work?"

"Two women are sitting quietly..."

"Love my pillow so much because it doesn't leave my house in the morning after spending the night with me."

"Child in a car: Strap them to the seat or you will be fined and jailed. Bus full of children: They'll be fine just throw em in there."

"I'm not one to brag about my Press exposure but yes, it's true what they're saying in my local paper. I am selling my couch"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bette ! Bette who ? Bette of roses!"

"YO MAMAS SO POOR I SEE HER KICKING A CAN DOWN THE ROAD I SAID ""WHAT YAR DOING "" SHE SAID ""MOVING"" !!!"

"@funTweeters I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers"

"'Twas the day before Lent, and when it was done, not a creature was sober, not even a nun."