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Joke of the Day

"I <3 W... Valentine's day TXT message you send twins if you are unsure which one you are sending the message."

"I got breast removal surgery... Sorry I had to get that of my chest"

"It might take a village to raise a child... but it only takes a viking to raze a village."

"a haunted house but it's just people paying bills and waiting in line at the DMV"

"Why couldn't the lizard be aroused? He had a reptile dysfunction (I just made that up but I'm sure it's been thought of)"

"I put my phone on airplane mode. Now I can't find it."

"What do you call Michael Buble's long lost evil twin brother? Pu-pu puble"

"I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you."

"Who are the fastest readers ? 9/11 victims, they went through 64 stories in just 8 seconds"

"People who brag about drinking black coffee?? Ok enjoy your hot bean water, I'm using creamer because I love myself"