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Joke of the Day

"People who brag about drinking black coffee?? Ok enjoy your hot bean water, I'm using creamer because I love myself"

"DAVID ATTENBOROUGH: Sadly, this male's efforts to prepare a nest for mating are all in vain [me crying on top of a half-put on fitted sheet]"

"She wants to know what I accomplished on my day off, but when I show her she yells at me for not flushing. Marriage is hard."

"I hope when the Incredible Hulk and Kool-Aid Man retire they'll open up a small demolition business together."

"TIFU by having unprotected sex. I thought the STD was standard."

"How does a Welshman find a sheep in tall grass? Attractive"

"Customer asking Bin Laden in Bar ( i need /u/yourjokeexplainedhere Customer: ""I'll have a Bin Laden, please."" Barman: ""Sir, what is dat?"" Customer: ""Two shots and a splash of water."""

"Do you know what really bugs me? Insect puns"

"A beggar asked me if I had any pennies and so i unzipped myself and showed him my dick"

"The three undefeated NFL teams remaining are all named after cats. the Carolina Panthers, the Cincinnati Bengals, and the New England Cheet-ahs."