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Joke of the Day

"People who brag about drinking black coffee?? Ok enjoy your hot bean water, I'm using creamer because I love myself"

"I asked my friend if it was intended for him to cheese the pizza joke. ""Nope Unintended"""

"Hitler was a keen golfer..... He even wrote a book on it, it was titled 'How to get out of a bunker with one shot.'"

"I hate perforations They're tearable"

"Two wolves are chasing a Golden Retriever through the forest. After an hour, the first wolf says to the second wolf, ""Ain't this a bitch?"" To which the second wolf responds, ""It had better be""."

"Did you hear about the overweight man who took up horse riding as exercise? The horse lost 15 pounds in a week!"

"I can't get in and out of a folding lawn chair without looking like a special needs Greco-Roman wrestler."

"Sarah Millican just called Stephen Hawking a good sport."

"I really really hope parallel universe me is vomiting on my cat's carpet right now."

"Forgetting to close my tab at the bar isn't as costly as forgetting to close tabs on my computer at home."