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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage"

"A horse trots into a bar . . . with a 8 foot stringy greasy turd stuck in his butt, dragging along behind. Bartender stares down at the trailing choad, then looks up - ""Why the long feces?"""

"ME: Sorry I'm late, I had computer problems. BOSS: Hard drive? ME: Nah, there was no traffic, just the computer problems."

"My wife suffers from a case of constant halitosis... So I guess it's a good thing I'm hung like a TicTac."

"[babies txting] ""my dad's thumb just came off"" lol wtf ""wait its back on again nvm"" ok lmao ""he just stole my nose"" im phoning the police"

"Why doesn't Elin Nordegren ever shop at the fish market? Because Tiger is always bringing home crabs!"

"Yo mama so fat, they're gonna put the movie in two parts."

"Hey girl are you a cool autumn breeze Because you make me wanna jacket"

"What has two asses and can kill you? An assassin"

"And then alcohol said ""Put that on facebook, it's hilarious."" But alcohol was wrong. So very wrong."