190795

Joke of the Day

"[babies txting] ""my dad's thumb just came off"" lol wtf ""wait its back on again nvm"" ok lmao ""he just stole my nose"" im phoning the police"

"I was wondering why my tap water was cloudy... But then it became clear to me."

"*hits bong* *abuses bong* *bong calls bong protection agency* *bong custody taken* *bong put in foster home* *bong misses old life*"

"Did you hear about the useful kid who jerks off too much? He cums in handy"

"I USED VOLUMIZING SHAMPOO TODAY AND NOW I CAN'T STOP SHOUTING!"

"What's the difference between a wife and a girlfriend? About 35 pounds"

"[NSFW] Gay dad John: Bill, I just found out that my dad is gay. Bill: Oh? How'd you find out? John: His dick tasted like shit."

"Babysitting Pro Tip: Make them play Dungeons & Dragons until they love it so their parents will never have to worry about teenage pregnancy."

"[High school reunion] Hey guys! Remember me!? ""No"" How about now? *puts an entire toilet on my head* (in unison) CHRIS!"

"This subreddit. ."