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Joke of the Day

"Ok gas pump, enough! Credit or debit? Zip code? Reward Card? Car Wash? Receipt? What octane? It takes less buttons to launch a nuke!"

"If I died and went directly to hell it would take me a month to realize I wasn't at work."

"Why is there such a big war in the Middle East? Because they're having difficulties finding out where the ISIS (created by my 10 year old 5 minutes ago)"

"If Bill Clinton gets divorced... Does that mean he's over the Hil?"

"Videogames ruined my life... ...but at least i have two more"

"""Lets all start wearing weird '90s mom jeans!"" - girls now"

"A guys asks his grandpa how come he still calls his wife ""darling"" after being married for over 60 years. the grandpa says : shush it, I forgot her name 30 years ago."

"A farmer invested $10 million of his own money for a research on 'effects of Marijuana on cattle'. The steaks were high."

"This morning I made the strongest coffee ever. It's so black a cop kicked in my door and shot it."

"I can't be the only one that sees the day when a direct message from a catfish is called carp DM."