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Joke of the Day

"5: ""Why is the moon so bright?"" Me: ""It's not, it's pretty dim actually."" Moon: ""I heard that."""

"Hey bill collectors, nice try, but I don't even call back people I know."

"It's a difficult day for me today. Today is the day I tell my dog that I am not his biological mother and that his real mother was a bitch."

"What would you call a bisexual black man? Vinegar"

"Two kids talking. One asks 'do you also pray before each meal'? The other responds : no, my mom knows how to cook."

"A pirate walks into a bar with a ships wheel between his legs The barkeep asks if he knows he has a wheel there.. He replies, ""Yarr, it be driving me nuts!"""

"I like my women like I I like my coffee.. Ground up and in the freezer."

"""These diet pills better work,"" I say to myself as I wash them down with a chocolate milkshake."

"""Omg, what a cute baby. He's adorable. Makes me want...oh never mind he's crying now bye"""

"During agricultural revolution canines... ...became dogmesticated. AHAHAHAHAHHHHAHAHAHAHa"