64936
Joke of the Day
"I just shaved my legs. I think I lost three pounds."
Next Joke
"I went to a German restaurant... ...and ordered an omelette....I just got a plate with two dots on it!"
"I dated a woman once. Most confusing twenty minutes of my life."
"My friend asked me to take a look at something on r/jokes I replied, ""No thanks, I already reddit."""
"Why did the chicken cross the road today? To get away from all the assholes making Prince jokes."
"I thought about making a sex tape the other day... ...until I realized it would just be a Vine."
"Why didn't the monk's clothes fit properly? Because he was cohabiting."
"What do fat girls and scooters have in common? They're both fun to ride.....until your friends see you."
"What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler ? Michael can actually finish a race off.."
"A woman screams as she gives birth... ""What's wrong, honey?"" her husband asks. ""What's wrong?!?"" the woman shouts, ""THESE CONTRACTIONS ARE GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME!"" ""Sorry babe. *What is* wrong?"""